Showing posts from March, 2016

Again And More


You thorn my heart
Thorn it a thousand times over
I love you still

Every thorn that you lunge
To the walls of this heart
I carefully wreathe

I tell myself
Each shall one day
Bloom a rose
Even if it doesn't
The hope breeds
Reason enough to live, wait.

Precariously on these clouds
Of hope and fear
High above this world
I stand
Looking, waiting for you to come
Take me away
And fly away now and forever

Like always

This rushing wind
Blows in my direction
I can feel it
And I know its you
But lost I remain
If it's coming to embrace me
Or running past, away from me.

I will fornever forget
As this wind, you touched me.
And it felt like eternity.

Again and more
Forever and ever more

Again And No More

You are the silhouette
Of long lost happiness
Over the dark backdrop of sadness

Without you
The silence is never silent
Disturbed by the shrieks
Of my forlorn heart
For you

It's been long since
I have been held captive
By darkness. By you.

I have waited long
Now I must run
And unshackle myself
From the dark alleys
Of my own arrested mind

Not to you
But away
From you
Far away

But as I run
Won't the wind
That blows in your direction
Remind me of you
That's how the fickle wind blows
Laughing at you as you run
From everything

The birds of twilight
Of which you are one
Always deceive me
And fly into the darkness
Leaving me behind
My dreams incomplete

I wanted to fly
But you never took me along

Again and no more
Never again and never more

Story Of A Tear

Somewhere in the distant past,
Along with a dream my friend envisaged,
I was born.
All the while, he always knew
A bubble the dream was,
A fallacy the faith was,
But a hand to hold, he sorely missed
And grab anything he would.
So he did.

Later, one day,
The bubble burst, so
The fallacy dawned.

He treaded deserted boulevards
Searched frantically for his shadow
In the darkness.
And finally when
Looked his image
In the tumultuous waters.
He realised the vacuous truth.

All this while
Grief from his heart
I shrivelled up inside me
No pains should come
To my friend.

With nothing left
He turns to me
Who would have happily
Sacrificed his life much earlier
If he had listened.
But not meant to be.

When I knock on his eyes
He resists
Not giving the vent
To the pent-up melancholy.
Before he can rethink.
One of me jumps out.
Then to show
We are one and we dont
Betray trust
All of us pour out
From the
Blackened clouds of
Painful suffocating memories and
Heaviness of carrying an empty life.

Life In Black





(Without You)

PS - I wrote this post a rejection, back in the first semester of college.

Happy Happy

I'm sitting at the airport right now.
There's a plane sleeping in front of me.
A few are awake though, and can be seen on the runway every once in a while.

I received my first admit yesterday.
I was playing a chess rematch with someone whom I had defeated. In between, something told me that I should check my Gmail. When I did, I found the acceptance mail.

New York, I am coming.
But before that, I am coming to Delhi. In a few hours. For a few days.

Jeete hain chal

All Said And Unsaid

Against myself, I stand on this crossroads,
Reflecting, how deprived of all the colours,
This canvas of life I had set out to paint,
A cruel joke seemingly but actually perfect,
Emptiness, darkness, black, epitomises me, my life.

A victim of my own choices and lies,
Strangled by my own thoughts,
An endless wait, endless dreams, endless expectations,
What wrong did I do to be wronged?
Forced by life to dance to its music,
Didn't learn, so am here, nothing more than a puppet,
Today tempts me to think I had learned.
The strings controlling me lie,
In a place far away where my sight fails me,
After all, who is god, not me?

A sole friend of my sadness, I am.
Each day, I sleep hoping the sleep would be death,
But still wake up to the same dark sheet of despair.
How wrong I have always been, always,
From seeing the world being behind my eyes,
To dreaming the promise that was never made ...meant.

Should I drown in the depths of hollowness?
Or swim in the emptiness of the void,
To know my…

Everything Ends

Everyday I wake up to find voices crying out loud,
All around I look, then realize,
That's it's me who is fighting within.
Even though happiness is everywhere,
Still the hues continue to elude me,
Staring deep into the eyes of reality, darkness is what i see.

All those memories and good times,
Like shadows were always with me,
But with light went the shadows, and
With the shadows, the merry moments.
With tears for my broken dreams,
Whose pain with no one I can share,
Secluded within walls I live,
Strange these dreams are,
Not a sound they make on breaking,
But finish your spirit from the inside, everything ends...

I have befriended many in my life,
And even deserted some of them,
Indifferent I may seem to a few,
But what goes on inside is known only to me,
Compromises at every corner of life, we are forced to make,
Not always we get, what we want, everything ends...

With regrets deep embedded into our hearts,
Each one of us lives within our own worlds,
Conscience and guilt, r…

Lost In The Maze

My existence fades away,
I have forgotten where I lay,
My past in front of my eyes flickers,
And my future with itself bickers.

Ask time, he knows,
Since when in this maze I have been trapped,
Again and again to this stone red,
By everyone, I have been whacked.

Sometimes, those sweet old memories do twinkle,
But my present blocks it completely,
Infinite times, this life I have tried to read,
But, its words every time successfully camouflage themselves.

Overhead the death-clouds blow
The pace of this life is unbearably slow.
In my whole path, only did insurmountable challenges did God suffuse,
But can I forever about this fact muse?

PS - This too, I wrote in school, in 10th most probably.

Scars Indelible

Many things in life leave scars indelible, Which rest within you for the rest of your times. To keep them as shadows, it's better, So as to enjoy, when nowhere are to be seen the happiness chimes.
Tides will come, tides will recede, As no one governs their ways. The star fishes once brought to the shore will always remain where they are, Till the swords of time make them char.
Winds of joys and sorrows will keep swaying, The branches of trees will keep playing, The rains will change deserts to oceans, And if they want, oceans to deserts.
No matter how hard you try, A mountain you will never be able to shake. Some things are beyond your control, Life will always your beloved things take.
What will never end is your wait, You will always be late. Even a rainbow which is colorful is curved, Why do you expect your life to be straight?
PS - I wrote this in school.

Last Days - II

Last Day of School life

Now school had so many last days - 1st last day, 2nd last day, farewell, Pre-board result day, Scribbling day and I don't remember them as well as I used to. But the real last day was the last board exam.

During the exam days, I would board the metro for a few stations, even though I could take a rickshaw which would make me reach home faster, so that I could get to talk to my friends. My best friend didn't want me to get down at my station that day. He insisted that I come along for a few more stations. I told him if he really wanted that, I'd do so. He just needed to repeat it once more. Being the innocent boy that he was, he didn't say a word more and let me get down since we had to prepare for the impending IIT entrance exams.

In between this, I managed to catch a glimpse of her for one last time. I knew I would not see her again. I said bye to my friends as I got down.

I wanted her to see me once more.
I did.

After de-boarding, I starting w…

Last Days - I

Last Day at my First School

It was 23rd April, 2001. My mum was there to pick me up at the bus stop like everyday. While walking back home, she told me that DPS Dwarka had called earlier in the day and had selected me after the written test. Only 4 were selected from the 150 who wrote the admission test.

I had no qualms leaving my old school. The reason I was so excited to join DPS Dwarka was that my best friend had left St Marks a year back, stayed in London for 6 months, where his father had been transferred, and joined DPS Dwarka after he came back. I wanted to get back with him. It's another story that I found other friends and that we never reached the level of friendship we had earlier.

Coincidently, a friend of mine had his birthday that day and he had invited me. Being the unsocial kid that I was. I did not have many friends in school whom I would miss but there was this one friend who I really wanted to meet one last time. I was very sure that she would come for the birth…

My Prayer for 2016

Kehta yeh pal
Khud se nikal
Jeete hain chal
Jeete hain chal

This moment is saying
Come out of yourself
Come out by yourself
Let's live
Let's live