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Showing posts from May, 2010

LETTING GO

He entered the room, switched off the lights and slammed the door shut hard. He then walked off to the farthest corner of the room, where the wall was completely empty, stumbling along the way because of the darkness and sat down on the ground besides it. He sat down quite for a minute. Then he got up, stared at the wall and punched the wall with his fist enveloping all the confusions and frustration within him. He had become very angry with all that his friends had to say. He shouted out. Letting go. Is this what life is about? You fail to jump over some hurdle for which you worked just too hard. Let go. You got betrayed by a friend who was too close to you for many years. Let go. Your dream which was everything to you shattered into a million pieces. LET GO!! You didn't end up being with your love who meant the world to you. FUCKING LET GO!! Do we live just to let go? Then after the echoes died down, another part of him spoke out. WE DON'T LIVE TO LET GO, WE LET GO TO LIVE. F

8 PIECES OF MY PAST

I once wrote a letter to my mausi in the winter of 1999. I still have it but its in a very poor condition. Its all pale yellow and slightly smeared in blue ink on both sides but I can read the words properly. Its torn into 8 pieces owing to reapeated closing and opening. Its the first piece of writing that I have and its very dear to me. It rested with her for many years and she gave it to me 2 years back since when it has been with me in my wallet. It will survive atmost 1-2 years more and then the words shall dissolve in time to be lost forever. Thats one of the reasons that I decided to put it up here, I will atleast have it somewhere. Some friends have suggested me to get it laminated, which I won't for sure. Holding it in a plastic will be nothing like these torn 8 pieces of paper which I have to very carefully handle fearing its the last time I am reading it so I read it very rarely and opened it after a long time just so that I could write the words. It takes me back to tho

DCE, MY LIFE - PART II

The third moment was when I talked to you for the first time. It was about the same time it was that autumn but a few months later. I was thinking about you and when I would get to talk to you for the first time, when you suddenly came and appeared in front of me. You would have walked away had I not called out your name. My heartbeat suddenly rose and I found it hard to frame sentences but I managed somehow. I knew then that I wanted you and that feeling has only grown since that day inspite of the moments when I have been angry and indifferent and confused. It has happened more times since then that I think of you and you appear before me just then, even as I keep hoping it happens everytime I want it. As I walked away after talking to you, a wind struck me hard in my face reminding me of many things. The first words that came to my mind were - "I want it back". I felt all the pain surging back in me, sometimes I feel the same even now. And as I was walking the road that l

DCE, MY LIFE - PART I

I profess it loud that I am in love, and deep in it. Now before you all get excited and ask me who the lucky one is, let me tell you its my college that I am talking about. Though I could list a thousand reasons to explain it, but I chose to list three moments that I have had in this college that made me fall in love with it irrevocably. The first moment happened just the other day. It rained a little that day ( it was not a proper rain). I was standing at the bus stop waiting for my 879 blueline just to the right of the college entrance. Then I remembered that because the road was blocked some distance away due to construction work, the buses wouldn't come this way. So I started walking. I didn't have any specific destination in mind but just wanted to walk. Walk and think and contemplate about whatever came to my mind surrounded by the music. And because I had left early, I knew I could walk for any amount time, I could have walked all the way to the metro station. I don'

THE FIRST RAIN

Its the first proper rain this season. I am sitting in my balcony as I write this ( though you will be reading this on a PC). I know that its difficult to get a beautiful view staying in a city but my balcony is different. I have been sitting before the clouds started pouring down. I was sitting here when the warmth, which is a precursor to the rain, was looming in the atmosphere and till now, when the heavy rain has faded into a drizzle. I can hear the rolling of the tyres from the road, the wet rolling which could tell me of the rain even if I was blind. I just saw an auto-rickshaw without its upper half. Every now and then, a sharp violent light brightens this paper on which I scribble and roars loudly when I dont look up. Even the lightning demands respect. The rain has stained whole of this paper. Over some stains, I have already written, while the others still await my pen. When I look above, at the sky, I am amazed. Its coloured in so many different colours. To the right of me,