I sleep very late these nights. After I do lay down in bed, I reminisce not too distant old times especially how I spent the first half of this year and I feel scared. So scared I feel like crying although I don't and niether do I need anyone to hold on to. It's just looking back and seeing what I was in. It is easier to retrospect now that I am almost done with that phase.

It wasn't Sadness. I was done with that last year already. It was a high no one who has not experienced it can know. Something higher than Sadness.

You don't even know something is happening to you.
Nothing makes any sense.
Whatever is going around you. Whatever anyone has to say. Whatever anyone does.
You don't want anything but the wind. And music.
Just think and think and think. Just go on and on and you don't even know you are going on.

It was logical in a way. The things that started happening to me since 12th had to reach an end.

Anything that rises must reach a height.
And the whole first half was that height.

I don't blame anyone for it. I can't see how can anyone blame someone else for something that has happened to them. The catalyst is not the cause for the reaction , it only fastens it.

When I should have been fearing it, I was deep in love with it.
But this fear is what makes me feel fearless now. Because I have faced it once, I know I can live through that phase or anything else any number times again in my life.

I have changed a little now, back to what I used to be some years back. But I will never be able to do away with the part of me that lived through this phase completely.

That me shall remain.

There is one thing I have learnt through this, there is no bigger God than friendship in this world. It's only when I am thinking this that I have to try not to cry. As sure as death follows life, is that I shall forever think the same even if I am in love with someone who loves me the same.


PS1 I thought long if I should put the names of people whom I wanted to thank, and I did have the names in every draft I prepared. But I removed them finally, musing that the best things in life should be left unsaid.

PS2 If this post was dedicated to friendship, my next one is for love, which is anyway a part of everything I write.



  2. They say, 'Your friends define who you are.' And having such friends, does make you an awesome being.

  3. i have also been through a similar sad/bad/low phase in life but what's diff here is that u had friends to help u deal with things but i was all alone...

  4. @CoolvibeS: This is definitely more than puny.
    @Anonymous: Aren't you then one of the friends who makes me awesome! I hope I make you awesome too..
    @Pranali: My friends is all I have.

  5. your friends will ALWAYS be there with you and for you whenever you need them, well thats the reason they are called friends..

  6. @anonymous: This serendipity I will never forget.
    @Vyakhya: Not even a THANK YOU suffices for you and your bf. I am so happy to get a comment from you, please please me more often.

  7. Thank You!!!

    You every post is about a tipping point in your life. We may have a few abt starting part f the journey,now, i hope u get wat am talking abt ;)

    Just wanted to ask something do u need the wind more or music or YOU? wat do u require the most???

    P.S. Thank


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