NOTHING (ELSE) MATTERS

I wanted her. More than anything I have ever wanted. I don't feel the same now, been around 2 years. I can't even tell how much because we usually forget the way we feel about people when we don't feel the same way. And I can just guess how strong that feeling was. I can't be sure. But I know that the desire was deep.

Nothing else matters.

Even when people don't get their first love, they have some moments to cherish when they were atleast friends. Here, in a nearly half-life longing, I have no moment, save one, excluding the dreams. She used to make me feel invincible, even inspite me knowing everything. It may sound childish, but before any major event, exam or competition, I used to think about her once and I would know that nothing would stop me from winning.

Nothing else matters.

Most of the people have a must-do-in-life list. It's great but I don't have a list but there were certainly things which I wanted in life. Maybe I do have one even now, but there are times when it doesn't matter if I will get them or not.

What would it matter if I am not able to travel the world.
What would it matter I am not able to compose as many songs with a guitar and perform somewhere.
What would it matter if I am not able to drive around the country alone in the late night with music and wind.
What would it matter if I don't make everyone cry with something I do.
What would it matter if I don't leave an indelible imprint on everyone I know.
What would it matter if no one ever loves me.
What would it matter if I am not able to dedicate a novel to her.
What would it matter if I don't get a terminal illness in the coming few years to make the death speech I keep revising in my mind every few months.

Nothing matters.

I just sit in these above moments doing nothing. Nothing matters - whatever has happened till date, whatever is currently happening or whatever will happen.

Neither nothing. Nor not nothing.
No loss of hope. Neither no loss of hope.
No Sadness. Neither no Sadness.
No Happiness. Neither no Happiness.
Its a Blackness. And a Whiteness.

Nothing means anything.
The breaths you are taking. The breaths you are not.
The tears you are crying. The tears you are not.
The said. The unsaid.

Nothing matters.

Comments

  1. Stuff might matter or stuff might not matter; people matter & thats what only matters.

    ReplyDelete
  2. u say u don't remember how u felt, its hard even to remember face, their is only a head but no face.
    I started to participate in things , and trying to win so tht she can hav a look at me,when i'd be called on stage, she used to stand in the very first row ,every morning assembly.

    just one question- how can u write that well!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Neither 'Nothing else matters' nor 'Nothing matters' because everything matters in some way or the other..
    needless to say bowled away by your expressions..

    ReplyDelete
  4. U've left me speechless...yet again!!!!!

    Sometimes I feel I understand the things that u've gone thru' in ur past but sometimes I feel I know nothing at all...
    I can so relate to every word that u write...

    Yet another masterpiece...

    ReplyDelete
  5. nthng matters as of nw....sumday it will surely matter whom it should matter.....
    gr8 piece 4m ur heart bro.......

    ReplyDelete
  6. @anon1: Not wrong.
    @anon2: I tried to stay far away from her. She was in the same section from 5th till 12th. I remember the look on her face when I won this event and she was in a other team.
    And, once the wind and music turn me on, the words just flow.
    Listen to Epiphany by Staind. Your first line reminded me of it.
    @anon3: You captured this post in just your one line. Love you, whoever you are.
    @Pranali: A friend who understood me the best, said no one could understand me. I look forward to being great friends with you.
    @ankit: Correctly put. Thanks a lot for reading.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So how do you plan to get in touch?

    ReplyDelete
  8. My Id is black.blud@gmail.com
    Add me or give me your id if you can't.

    ReplyDelete
  9. did listen to it. and yeah u got the right song.

    ReplyDelete
  10. wow......really nice, and this i say at the risk of being thought of as "over optimistic" but people matter, feelings matter, what u wanna do with ur life is all that matters and only those things matter which should matter!

    ReplyDelete
  11. @CoolvibeS: I know that everything matters but I did write I feel like Nothing matters only a few times, not everytime.

    ReplyDelete

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