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FIRST LOVE

It was what a Heaven must be. But why did my dad have to wake me up from the heaven I was in. Anyway, he didn't know that I was having a dream which I would like to have everyday for the rest of my life. Though I couldn't have her, but still I could have lived with that dream forever. It was bliss while I was sleeping but after I woke up, it was nothing but a thorn of pain. I forgot it after a couple of hours but it occupied my mind big time during those two hours. That's how it happens. Initially, she used to come in my dreams almost every night and give me the time which I didn't get from her during the day. But then as the truth kept getting clearer and time passed, the frequency lowered gradually. From every night, it declined to once in every 3-4 days, then weekly and finally around once in a month. Since then, she comes to see me only once in months but that single dream is enough to bring back all the memories and lift me from the present to the past. There was a...
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A GOODBYE TO GOODBYE

That was a season of goodbyes when I quit this blog. Everything I loved goodbye-d me in one way or the other - Be it her, my college or the high-on-the-wind-and-music-speedball blueline rides back home. So I thought who would care about another. But now I couldnt stay without writing, statuses and messages remaining the only means to show off my prowess. Now that Im back after a rather long hiatus, I wish to stretch my time here as much as I can and say allsaidandunsaid that's remaining. I will update you all about my first year in later posts. But can describe in one word each semester. First - Sad, Second - High and the way this semester is proceeding, the word this semester is going to be Learn. Since I am not in the clutches of Sadness any more, my writing isn't going to be half as good it was the last time, but atleast it will be ME who's writing. As for my other blog - EMOTIONULL PORNOGRAPHY, its seeing a shutdown because it was a product of indifference, which never ...
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NOTHING (ELSE) MATTERS

I wanted her. More than anything I have ever wanted. I don't feel the same now, been around 2 years. I can't even tell how much because we usually forget the way we feel about people when we don't feel the same way. And I can just guess how strong that feeling was. I can't be sure. But I know that the desire was deep. Nothing else matters. Even when people don't get their first love, they have some moments to cherish when they were atleast friends. Here, in a nearly half-life longing, I have no moment, save one, excluding the dreams. She used to make me feel invincible, even inspite me knowing everything. It may sound childish, but before any major event, exam or competition, I used to think about her once and I would know that nothing would stop me from winning. Nothing else matters. Most of the people have a must-do-in-life list. It's great but I don't have a list but there were certainly things which I wanted in life. Maybe I do have one even now, but the...
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