YOU HAD TIME

I have always found it difficult to describe myself, until now. I found just the right words for me. I am a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. The fact is I have never caught any.. A car comes from the left - I forget the previous car, only till it passes me again somewhere in the road. Oh, there is another coming from the right. Bye bye old car, I found a new one to chase. I want to be - A dog chasing a single car.

Find your calling, we all are told. I for one am totally fucked up finding mine. I know am good for nothing. There is nothing I have done in my life, no achievement to be proud of, nothing at all. There is not one thing which others, or me, might call my talent. A loser is what I am. I have really always believed in this, through thick and thin. I have always looked at my friends, and others - each one is good, rather the best at something. But not me. Each one of them is best at heart too. I consider myself the most fortunate person on this earth for having them. There used to be days when I used to be very upset at having no talent, something at which others would look up to me for. I have complete confidence in me - such a day will never dawn. It's not that I have anyone to blame, I have only myself to blame. There is no single thing to which I have set out with my heart and soul. I have given up. Given up every single time I have faltered on a step whenever the upward trend saw...

I am not going to term this as another comeback to avoid being ridiculed. It's just an attempt to do something I once loved dearly - writing. It's not that I have not attempted to write in these 6 months, I have. My drafts are home to some incomplete pieces. I want to blog, but the words just dont come, like they used to come last year. I am just forcefully typing away on my keyboard, just because I want to chronicle my life and I'm tired of writing incomplete posts. I always tried that whatever I write is a refection of beauty, and was satisfied with whatever I came up with. But it has seemed impossible to write in the old way again. I guess I will have to accept that I won't be able to write that way again. You too be prepared to read nothing like my older posts. I don't think I now have the patience to write long posts like I used to write back then, so atleast the first few posts now will be short. Maybe in the future, I will again write something I like. For no...

Another year comes to an end. We all will celebrate Time's birthday tomorrow(it will already be today by the time most of you read it). Every year of my life has been better than the last and it was no different this year too. The Roller-Mester post captured all that transpired during this semester, and the posts during the first half too spilled the way I used to feel that time. I am running short of time so there wouldn't be much of me in this post. This post is about my friends and my love. They are my life. I asked some of my friends to describe their best moments this year. Later I told them they could write anything about this year, what it meant to them, or what it brought for them. Since I got longer replies than I expected(but that has only made me happier), this post is going to be in 2 parts. They are in the order in which I received them. Anonymous 1 Best moments of the year 2010.. umm .. When..???. On.???.. Well I have never categorised any moment of my life as bes...

Anonymous 4 Its been a really long time since I have been thinking if 2010 was any better than the previous years of my life & the answer was that every year has just been the same (and equally disastrous) since I first stepped in my engineering college!! There is a long list why 2010 was BAD but rather than concentrating on the bad memories, I thought good memories should be highlighted for some positivity around year end.. So, to begin with the best thing that happened in 2010 was the entry of a lil' angel in my life. She is my pet Coco. Being with her really helped me get out of some bad phases that i was absorbed into.. Broadly this year was about academic realizations & knowing what I really want in life. It was about getting to know some amazing people & admiring their perception of life. This year taught me to be independent & also to take one step at a time. Its like traffic signs. Stop, Get Ready & then Go. My life was extremely goofed up but now I am s...

Everyday is not the same How can it be? Everyday is not the same For you and for me Who said we would always be happy Who said we would always be laughing But we believe we can always keep smiling Even through the low tides of time. Angry we ought to be with each other Indifferent we ought to feel for each other But such things are meant to stay only for a while Because we are meant to love each other at all the other times. In time, it's not about you winning or me losing In time, it's not about you right or me wrong In time, the only thing to win and be just right for us Should be our incessant love for each other. We still have a long way to go We still have so many things to show(and see) All we need is each others support and love for each other to grow more and more. PS She wrote this, her second post/poem on this blog. She is an Angel, I still wouldn't tell you her name.

So, another semester goes by. I don't know how to start. So much has happened all through these 4 months. I will start from the beginning of this semester and hope the story just flows then. (God, how messed up everything is, deleting more than I am writing) Bittersweet Symphony. Crash Into Me. These were the two songs that I kept listening to for the first 2-3 weeks this semester. I don't remember being happier anytime in the past two years. Being high on happiness, a feeling I never fathomed could exist. Finding Tool and getting to know their music. That coming together of drums towards the end in Vicarious. That repetition of Between Supposed Lovers in Schism. The crescendoing lyrics in Stinkfist. November Rain. My favourite, and The perfect song on love. My Hero. Nothing Else Matters. Listening to it hours on end and still finding a new meaning everytime I heard it. That night. When you said it made you want to fall in love with me everytime I told you I loved you. The clou...