YOU HAD TIME

Love You thorn my heart Thorn it a thousand times over I love you still Every thorn that you lunge To the walls of this heart I carefully wreathe I tell myself Each shall one day Bloom a rose Even if it doesn't The hope breeds Reason enough to live, wait. Precariously on these clouds Of hope and fear High above this world I stand Looking, waiting for you to come Take me away And fly away now and forever Else Like always Fall This rushing wind Blows in my direction I can feel it And I know it's you But lost I remain If it's coming to embrace me Or running past, away from me. Anyway I will fornever forget As this wind, you touched me. And it felt like eternity. Love Again and more Forever and ever more

You are the silhouette Of long lost happiness Over the dark backdrop of sadness Without you The silence is never silent Disturbed by the shrieks Of my forlorn heart For you It's been long since I have been held captive By darkness. By you. I have waited long Now I must run And unshackle myself From the dark alleys Of my own arrested mind Not to you But away From you Far away But as I run Won't the wind That blows in your direction Remind me of you Anyway That's how the fickle wind blows Laughing at you as you run From everything The birds of twilight Of which you are one Always deceive me And fly into the darkness Leaving me behind My dreams incomplete I wanted to fly But you never took me along Love Again and no more Never again and never more Love

Somewhere in the distant past, Along with a dream my friend envisaged, I was born. All the while, he always knew A bubble the dream was, A fallacy the faith was, But a hand to hold, he sorely missed And grab anything he would. So he did. Later, one day, The bubble burst, so The fallacy dawned. Numb He treaded deserted boulevards Searched frantically for his shadow In the darkness. And finally when Looked his image In the tumultuous waters. He realised the vacuous truth. All this while Grief from his heart I shrivelled up inside me No pains should come To my friend. With nothing left He turns to me Who would have happily Sacrificed his life much earlier If he had listened. But not meant to be. When I knock on his eyes He resists Not giving the vent To the pent-up melancholy. Before he can rethink. One of me jumps out. Then to show We are one and we dont Betray trust All of us pour out From the Blackened clouds of Painful suffocating memor...

Miss.Missing.Missed. Forget.Forgetting.Forgotten. Feel.Feeling.Felt. Think.Thinking.Thought. Dream.Dreaming.Dreamt. Question.Questioning.Questioned. Know.Knowing.Known. Break.Breaking.Broken. Silence.Silencing.Silenced. Walk.Walking.Standing. Laugh.Laughing.Crying. Know.Knowing.Nothing. Think.Thinking.Chaos. Feel.Feeling.Numb. Try.Trying.Tried. Live...Couldnt...Cant... (Without You) PS - I wrote this post a rejection, back in the first semester of college.

I'm sitting at the airport right now. There's a plane sleeping in front of me. A few are awake though, and can be seen on the runway every once in a while. I received my first admit yesterday. I was playing a chess rematch with someone whom I had defeated. In between, something told me that I should check my Gmail. When I did, I found the acceptance mail. New York, I am coming. But before that, I am coming to Delhi. In a few hours. For a few days. Jeete hain chal

Against myself, I stand on this crossroads, Reflecting, how deprived of all the colours, This canvas of life I had set out to paint, A cruel joke seemingly but actually perfect, Emptiness, darkness, black, epitomises me, my life. A victim of my own choices and lies, Strangled by my own thoughts, An endless wait, endless dreams, endless expectations, What wrong did I do to be wronged? Forced by life to dance to its music, Didn't learn, so am here, nothing more than a puppet, Today tempts me to think I had learned. The strings controlling me lie, In a place far away where my sight fails me, After all, who is god, not me? A sole friend of my sadness, I am. Each day, I sleep hoping the sleep would be death, But still wake up to the same dark sheet of despair. How wrong I have always been, always, From seeing the world being behind my eyes, To dreaming the promise that was never made ...meant. Should I drown in the depths of hollowness? Or swim in the emptiness...

Everyday I wake up to find voices crying out loud, All around I look, then realize, That's it's me who is fighting within. Even though happiness is everywhere, Still the hues continue to elude me, Staring deep into the eyes of reality, darkness is what i see. All those memories and good times, Like shadows were always with me, But with light went the shadows, and With the shadows, the merry moments. With tears for my broken dreams, Whose pain with no one I can share, Secluded within walls I live, Strange these dreams are, Not a sound they make on breaking, But finish your spirit from the inside, everything ends... I have befriended many in my life, And even deserted some of them, Indifferent I may seem to a few, But what goes on inside is known only to me, Compromises at every corner of life, we are forced to make, Not always we get, what we want, everything ends... With regrets deep embedded into our hearts, Each one of us lives within our own worlds...

My existence fades away, I have forgotten where I lay, My past in front of my eyes flickers, And my future with itself bickers. Ask time, he knows, Since when in this maze I have been trapped, Again and again to this stone red, By everyone, I have been whacked. Sometimes, those sweet old memories do twinkle, But my present blocks it completely, Infinite times, this life I have tried to read, But, its words every time successfully camouflage themselves. Overhead the death-clouds blow The pace of this life is unbearably slow. In my whole path, only did insurmountable challenges did God suffuse, But can I forever about this fact muse? PS - This too, I wrote in school, in 10th most probably.

Many things in life leave scars indelible, Which rest within you for the rest of your times. To keep them as shadows, it's better, So as to enjoy, when nowhere are to be seen the happiness chimes. Tides will come, tides will recede, As no one governs their ways. The star fishes once brought to the shore will always remain where they are, Till the swords of time make them char. Winds of joys and sorrows will keep swaying, The branches of trees will keep playing, The rains will change deserts to oceans, And if they want, oceans to deserts. No matter how hard you try, A mountain you will never be able to shake. Some things are beyond your control, Life will always your beloved things take. What will never end is your wait, You will always be late. Even a rainbow which is colorful is curved, Why do you expect your life to be straight? PS - I wrote this in school.

Last Day of School life Now school had so many last days - 1st last day, 2nd last day, farewell, Pre-board result day, Scribbling day and I don't remember them as well as I used to. But the real last day was the last board exam. During the exam days, I would board the metro for a few stations, even though I could take a rickshaw which would make me reach home faster, so that I could get to talk to my friends. My best friend didn't want me to get down at my station that day. He insisted that I come along for a few more stations. I told him if he really wanted that, I'd do so. He just needed to repeat it once more. Being the innocent boy that he was, he didn't say a word more and let me get down since we had to prepare for the impending IIT entrance exams. In between this, I managed to catch a glimpse of her for one last time. I knew I would not see her again. I said bye to my friends as I got down. I wanted her to see me once more. I did. After de-boarding, ...

Last Day at my First School It was 23rd April, 2001. My mum was there to pick me up at the bus stop like everyday. While walking back home, she told me that DPS Dwarka had called earlier in the day and had selected me after the written test. Only 4 were selected from the 150 who wrote the admission test. I had no qualms leaving my old school. The reason I was so excited to join DPS Dwarka was that my best friend had left St Marks a year back, stayed in London for 6 months, where his father had been transferred, and joined DPS Dwarka after he came back. I wanted to get back with him. It's another story that I found other friends and that we never reached the level of friendship we had earlier. Coincidently, a friend of mine had his birthday that day and he had invited me. Being the unsocial kid that I was. I did not have many friends in school whom I would miss but there was this one friend who I really wanted to meet one last time. I was very sure that she would come for the...

Kehta yeh pal Khud se nikal Jeete hain chal Jeete hain chal This moment is saying Come out of yourself Come out by yourself Let's live Let's live https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n66IvJVs1eY