YOU HAD TIME

Anonymous 4 You know that feeling when life* makes you stop for a second, and asks you, "So... what's new? What progress have you made since the last time we talked?" Sometimes you have an answer, which you can throw back at life with a lot of pride. Other times you don't, and then you stand there ashamed of yourself with your head lowered. That shame usually motivates me to get something new going in my life.  Life asked me this question about a year ago, as 2014 was coming to a close, and I didn't have an answer; I had been complacent where I was for quite a while. Unsure of what new to get going, I went with an extremely strange decision - I got a new credit card. Quite stupid and pointless in retrospect. Not sure what I was expecting out of it. Fortunately though, 2015 has been a little more interesting than that pointless end to 2014. 2015 made me realize that I am a happy, but a very unsatisfied and restless person. I realized this because my subcons...

Another house of cards, I will make for myself I hope you too will dream And make one for yourself When the wind blows it away Which it will I hope you will forget your sadness For a moment and Relish the beauty Of how the carefully arranged cards Fall When they are scattered I hope that you have the courage To dream to Make one more.

Anonymous 3 Two days back as Anant reminded me about the year review blog, I thought I am not going to do it this year. There hasn't been anything new this year and nothing exciting to tell. He then reminded me that it is about sharing experiences and lessons learned, about new and old dreams overcoming fears. I listened to that and the exact response in my head was ' meh '. Now comes the next day, and my manager tells me that I would be moving to a report to someone else. At that moment I was like, this is it "I am not going to write the review, and I am definitely going to leave this company. He wants me to move to a different manager, I will show him how different I can get. But, most importantly I am not going to write the year-end review. Now today is the last day of this year, it is  9:40 a.m.  as of this moment and here I am writing this. I guess I will just have to move to a different company now so that I am not a complete liar. Or else my pants will be on ...

Anonymous 2 One. Year. Without. Porn. Well, what an unusual way to begin reflecting over the year past. But anonymity will get the better of most men, or so I would like to believe, and I am no different. As I sit on this Christmas eve, thinking over the various strands going on in my head, with  Ain’t No Love in the Heart of the City  playing on my earphones, I must go back to the previous Christmas eve. Admittedly, beginning a confessional with a discussion of one’s thoughts on porn wouldn’t count as too impressive, but I hope that impression changes by the time you reach the end of this. Humans have various phases in their lives. The period from teenage to the time you reach thirty are your make or break years. Not only are we full of energy, responsive to new ideas and adequately equipped, physically and emotionally, to delve into those ideas and come up with something of our own, but also these periods groom us into who we are. Our personality emerges i...

For the first time in months, I am by myself in this 2 BHK flat for the weekend. My brother went to Delhi on a surprise visit for our father's birthday. My room mate has went to his grandparents' native place. We've been staying together for 6 months now. Before that, I stayed alone in a 1 BHK flat for one and a half years. I stand before the mirror to look at myself. I look at my head. The hair are cropped quite short, a hairstyle I opted because it could hide my receding hairline. It didn't succeed. The inverted W gets more prominent every time when I look at the mirror. There's a pustule on my forehead, a little right to where a woman might wear a bindi. My eyes have sunk a little back, and the skin beneath my eyes is strikingly darker. I wasn't aware of this until my parents and my colleagues pointed this out. You don't notice these small changes that happen to you. Both my ears feel warm. The liberal hair growth on my body hasn't spared the ...

A guitar Without a guitarist Just wood and metal There's no music A person Without a lover Just flesh and bones There's no life

I remind myself daily That I have forgotten you